| Table of Contents Being Cabin Crew | The Ugly Truth Part 3 Page 1 – The Head of Cabin Crew Page 2 – Employing a Sociopath Page 3 – The Day Life Changed Page 4 – Shalom Tel Aviv Page 5 – Post Flight Customer Feedback Page 6 – Cue Second Disciplinary Page 7 – Outcome of the Grievance Page 8 – Yee Haw The Last Page! Being Cabin Crew | The Ugly Truth Part 5 |
The Day Life Changed
On August 19th 2010, my mum had an appointment with her doctor because she hadn’t been feeling well. She was told she had a urine infection and was given antibiotics. Later that day she became really poorly and was taken to hospital. My dad went with her in the ambulance and I followed on later.
When I arrived, she was very stressed and was on oxygen, but only to relax her. My mum had a phobia of hospitals and had only been in hospital once. That was to have a cyst removed many years ago, and it was done privately. Having spoken to the nurse, she said my mum had a urinary tract infection, and due to her age, they were keeping her in overnight for observation. They were just waiting for a bed, and then she’d go up to the ward.
My dad and I were with her in a curtained-off cubicle in Accident and Emergency. I kept telling her to lie down and relax. I thought she had eventually fallen asleep, but her breathing didn’t sound normal. When I tried to speak to her, she didn’t respond. I called the nurse who was visibly alarmed and asked me how long she’d been breathing like that.
My mum was unresponsive and was taken for a scan. Not long afterwards, we were told she’d had a massive stroke, and it wasn’t looking good. She passed away later that evening.
My dad was 88 at the time but fit and well for his age. We were both traumatised by the sudden loss. My only family was my parents. Once back at my house, my dad said he could never go back to where he lived with my mum. He said he just wouldn’t be able to cope with her not being there.
With my dad still being so active, both mentally and physically, it wasn’t appropriate for him to go into residential care. However, he also wouldn’t have managed to live alone. Therefore, we decided that, for the time being, he would live with me. It was never going to be easy because our relationship was complicated.
I want to go back for a moment to November 2001, the time of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York. Just a few weeks earlier, I had started seeing someone who, two years later, became gravely ill. The years that followed were filled with unimaginable stress and sadness. In 2008, when the situation changed, I returned to work full-time. I had been allowed to go part-time in 2002 because of my situation. Two years later, finding myself once again a carer, my manager allowed me to switch back to a part-time contract.
Looking after an elderly parent comes with many challenges, however, flying kept me sane because it gave me time and space to recharge my batteries.
In 2016, my dad was 94 but still mentally sharp and physically fit. He went out walking every day for a few hours, but one morning had a nasty fall. From that day, everything changed. He had stitches in his head, and the bruising took weeks to go down. Not long afterwards, he caught pneumonia and was hospitalised. As part of the infection, he lost his hearing completely. For the next three weeks, I spent every day at the hospital.
My dad made a full recovery and regained some of his hearing but used hearing aids in both ears. While in the hospital, he was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL).
By the time he returned home, he had really aged. Although he still enjoyed walking, he’d lost his confidence, so was too nervous to go out alone. He also needed far more help with everyday tasks, and that was all down to me. Having CLL and also glaucoma meant there were plenty of hospital appointments.
Life was tough, but in the previous months, while away on a trip, I had met someone and was in a new relationship. He was also cabin crew with the company.
Having someone else at home helped enormously, but I was really beginning to struggle with my mental health. Although we spoke about residential care, my dad hated the idea. Living in the house meant he still had his independence. Our relationship had improved and the three of us often went for days out. My dad was mad about football and horse racing.
Life revolved entirely around my dad. My only respite was going to work, but being away for any longer than one night was difficult. I could sometimes do a two-night trip, which was like a mini holiday. My last real holiday was in 2006, and that was just a few days in Brighton. My last overseas holiday was in 2004.
By 2014, I was fighting agonising depression. I tried hard to hide it from my dad which wasn’t easy. I was at my happiest when in the air and away on a trip. From the second I stepped onto the aircraft, I felt a sense of calmness and freedom. My manager was aware of my situation at home and allowed me to swap duty periods around whenever I needed time off for hospital appointments. Where necessary, he allowed me to make the time up the following month.
With me being part-time and Laurence being full-time, we were constantly swapping trips around to ensure one of us was always at home. Since being hospitalised, my dad could not be left alone in the house overnight.
Part-time in the company was like gold dust. Until about 2013, female crew returning from maternity were automatically offered part-time, but it was extremely difficult for anyone else to change over.
The following screenshot is from a letter sent by the ‘boss’ to all flying staff in the company in August 2000. It wasn’t until 2017 that part-time working was finally opened up to anyone who wanted to apply.
With the introduction of the new “Freedom” service, the First Class cabin went from a sea of calm to utter chaos. Instead of all customers being served together during one main meal service, which is how the service had always been done, they could now eat what they wanted, when they wanted, from an extensive menu.
“Extra staff” were never added to the “busiest routes”, and if anything, the number of crew on each flight was reduced. That made it even more difficult when flights went ‘crew down.’
This is a screenshot from a video that was posted as a tweet. It was from an interview with someone very close to the owner of the airline and who’s also employed by the company. She was talking with a representative from CarersUK. Some detail has been redacted.
I sent an email and private message to the person on the right explaining how difficult it had been to get my partner transferred to a part-time contract. She never responded. I also sent an email to CarersUK telling explaining how much I had struggled as a carer and the impact it had on my mental health. I never received a response from them either.
My dad lived with me for almost nine years, and even after moving into residential care, I visited every day unless away on a trip. On weekends, he’d come to the house, or we’d go out somewhere for the day. That was my life for nine years, and this wasn’t the first time I’d been a carer.
Here’s another tweet from that same person, which I also replied to, and in case you’re wondering, I didn’t receive a response. The “powerful words” she refers to were from an interview with someone in the airline who spoke about how hard the company works to support employee mental health. The second screenshot comes from the opening paragraph of that interview.
Now, cast your mind back to when my manager (my new manager, not my original manager) called me when I was on long-term sick leave. My reason for being off was because I had just learned the grievance raised by Bart for bullying, overbearing supervision, and inappropriate touching was being upheld. Despite telling him I wasn’t in a great place at the moment, he went on to ask when I would be able to deal with the second grievance, the one regarding my tongue-in-cheek comment the CEO took offence to.
A few months after my dad moved into a wonderful residential care home, he celebrated his 95th birthday. It was an emotional day to finally see him in his new home. He was relaxed, relatively happy, and was being well looked after. The previous nine years had been tough on us both.
Two months after his 96th birthday and just days after returning home from my Christmas trip with Bart, he passed away peacefully in his sleep.
Being Cabin Crew | The Ugly Truth 