30 Years a Virgin | The Ugly Truth – Part 4


Table of Contents

The Ugly Truth Part 3

Page 1 – The Ugly Face of Revenge 
Page 2 – The Day That Changed my Life
Page 2 – When It All Becomes Too Much
Page 3 – Shalom Tel Aviv
Page 4 – Great Customer Feedback
Page 5 – Cue Second Disciplinary
Page 6 – Outcome of the Investigation
Page 7 – The Last Page

The Ugly Truth Part 5 (TBA)

Outcome of the Investigation

In the outcome to his initial investigation, cabin crew manager Fred states he learnt on 15th October 2019 that Jack had raised a concern regarding my post. Were that to be true, that’s ten days after Jack messaged me.

I believe the complaint was actually made the day before the press launch flight that I was due to be on. Had the matter been reported earlier than what I stated in my defence documents, I’m fairly certain someone would have been in contact with me much sooner.

I was contacted by Fred around midday on 22nd October. At that time he had not yet seen a copy of my post or the exchange of messages between Jack and myself. Had he been made aware of the complaint a week earlier as he states, I’m confident he would have had a copy of both by the time we spoke.

I believe if Jack had reported the matter within days of the incident having taken place, he would have sent a copy of the exchange of messages or at least of my post, to senior manager xx. With her being Head of Cabin Crew she would have been his first port of call. I also believe had that been the case, I definitely would not have been allowed to operate two further flights to Tel Aviv.

The reason Fred hadn’t seen copies of my original post or the exchange of messages was because I believe it was all very last minute.

Having seen my name on the flight the day before it was due to leave, Jack’s priority was to get me removed. I’m also sure he would have been extremely busy at that time preparing for the press launch flight the following day. Fred therefore had to rely on me sending him copies so the investigation could proceed.

The following comes from evidence submitted to Fred along with screenshots of the messages exchanged between Jack and myself;


text from an email

The following is the outcome of the investigation carried out by Fred;


text from written correspondence

Some corrections are needed here. I did not say jack couldn’t have seen the post because I deleted it. This is what I said;


text from a text message conversation

I never claimed to have edited the post. I stated I tried to edit it. This is what the guys from I.T said;


text taken from an email

text taken from an email

Fred also states the post was viewed by 38 people but fails to mention two people “liked” it. I only became aware of that during the disciplinary meeting that followed. Until then it had never been mentioned. I asked that manager to find out who had “liked” the post. I’m certain I.T would have access to that information.

Everyone in the room knew me and my sense of humour and would have fully understood the nature of the post.

Take a look at these points which are company policy. I’ve deleted additional examples that are irrelevant;


text  from a company policy

I think my post could be perceived as being inflammatory language although completely unintentional. It was definitely unprofessional and could be seen as being disrespectful towards Jewish colleagues. That was never my intention and I was extremely apologetic to the one person I did offend.

In line with company policy, the two people who “liked” the post should have been spoken to by their manager. I’m fairly certain they weren’t.


text from a company policy

Certain people may have deemed my post to be negative but I’m not sure it would bring the company into disrepute. The following screenshot comes from Chabad.org which is an orthodox Jewish website about all things relating to Judaism;


text from a website about judaism

I think it would be difficult to substantiate raising a grievance against me for a post the company felt was negative when “kvetching” seems to be an old Jewish tradition. As I keep saying, this must be kept in context. I was poking fun at my own community to a small group of people all of whom would have taken the comment in the spirit in which it was intended.

The dictionary describes “profanity” as blasphemous or obscene language. My language certainly wasn’t obscene but was it blasphemous? The dictionary describes “blasphemous” as being a lack of respect for God or religion. So no, it wasn’t blasphemous because Jewish people like to kvetch which simply means we’re a fussy lot who expect standards that may not always be easy to achieve. I think every race has their peculiarities, that’s what makes us all different.

I said immediately I would delete my comment and then thought I had already done that so I’m safe on the next point. Was it false or misleading? Not according to many Jewish leaders including the Rabbi I referenced earlier in this chapter.

So why exactly was my comment treated not only as a grievance but as final written warning? Answers on the back of a postage stamp please!


This emoji was used in my post


In his original message Jack even says “I presume this was not intentional but….”.

I think I made it very clear right from the start that my comment was never meant to cause offence or disrespect to anyone.

I have always wondered and it was raised by the union rep’ who accompanied me to the meeting, whether it would have made any difference had I said “Us Jews are such a fussy lot”. Or “Us blinkin’ Jews are such a fussy lot”. Maybe I should have said “Us Jews are a right old bunch of kvetchers!”


text from an email

From the start there was never ever going to be any chance of this matter being dropped. The cabin crew management team were determined for the grievance to be upheld just as they were determined for the first grievance against me to be upheld.

Throughout this section I’ve spoken about context. I want to add that prior to requesting this matter be dealt with as a grievance, Fred’s manager who was senior manager xx was fully aware of my mental state as a result of what I had been dealing with for the past twelve months.

Everything I did in my own time and during my flights to Tel Aviv to try and make the new route a success stood for absolutely nothing. Just like my thirty years with the company. Senior manager xx almost says that in the outcome of her investigation into Bart’s complaint. I’ll save that golden nugget for a later chapter.

I never received one iota of credit for helping to make the first flight a success. The only manager who congratulated me and my team of cabin crew was the manager of the Product and Service Delivery department. In recent years in this company you were rarely ever thanked for doing something well but as soon as you did something wrong albeit completely unintentional, you’d hear from a manager almost immediately.

This was the very reason why I liked writing more detailed performance reviews. I felt when a crew member worked hard and had done their best it deserved to be recognised. Sadly due to being too tired or simply not having the time, it wasn’t always possible to do that before the end of the inbound flight.

My purpose for writing a more detailed review on someone has always been to make them feel valued and to help their development and future promotion.

Had it not been deemed acceptable to write these from home or to include a cabin crew member’s manager, my manager or the manager who received a copy could have asked me to stop. Nobody ever did. Take a look at this.


Soon after learning I was facing another grievance for the forum comment, I sent the following email to someone who used to be a Cabin Crew Manager. He was now part of the Product and Service Delivery team. I liked him and had a great deal of respect for him. In return he was always pleasant and respectful to me.


email correspondence
text from an email

After giving the matter more thought I decided not “to cut my nose off to spite my face”. I loved operating the route so would remain part of the core crew but would no longer share knowledge regarding Israel or Judaism with the company.

Earlier in this chapter I mention an email I sent to Fred. In that correspondence I told him I had spoken to another manager about being in Israel over the festival of Yom Kippur. That manager who I had known for many years, was responsible for hotel accommodation.

Here’s the email to that manager and his response.


text from an email
text from an email

text from an email

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