Being Cabin Crew – The Ugly Truth

Table of Contents

Page 1 – Cabin Crew Mental Health
Page 1 – Allegations of Inappropriate Touching
Page 2 – Behind the Galley Curtain 
Page 2 – Dealing with the Grievance 
Page 2 – Stupidity Ignorance or Both? 
Page 3 – Workplace Mental Health
Page 4 – Ex Police Officer now Cabin Crew 

Being Cabin Crew | The Ugly Truth Part 2

Behind the Galley Curtain

During the early to mid 90’s the airline was a popular choice for celebrities, influential members of society and royalty.

The photograph of Princess Diana wearing a sweatshirt promoting them in 1995 was the best advertising a business could wish for.

front page of Daily Express newspaper with a picture and article about princess diana
Princess Diana apparently loved the airline

One thing they always struggled to get right was the correct number of cabin crew required to operate the flight schedule. Flights therefore often went crew down or with crew working up in a rank they were not trained to work in.

Cabin crew working as onboard managers or onboard managers working as cabin crew was common.

Over bank holidays and significant events such as the Wimbledon final sickness was always high. There was rarely enough crew on standby to replace those who called in sick.

I always enjoyed working out of rank. Unlike many Flight Managers I liked working in Economy.

This was a flight to Miami, we were about to take-off. It had been more than twenty years since I’d sat on this jumpseat at the back of a Boeing 747.

Interior cabin of a Boeing 747. Photo taken from the back looking forwards
Boeing 747 aircraft

On a full flight to Barbados some years ago on Christmas Eve I operated four cabin crew down. We were on a full Boeing 747. I also had a crew member working up as Purser.

On the Airbus A340-600 aircraft that I operated to Atlanta on 24th December 2018 with Bart, there should have been one Flight Manager who was me, two Pursers and nine cabin crew. When I arrived at check-in there were eleven crew including myself and no Pursers. I was therefore the only onboard manager on the aircraft.

I was told by a cabin crew line manager all crew on standby had been used so I would probably be crew down.

The Pursers are onboard managers whose role involves supporting the Flight Manager. One works in Economy the other in First Class. They run the services, lead, support and develop their crew.

With there not being any Pursers it meant two crew had to work up to fill each position.

On this flight out of ten cabin crew, seven were still in or just out of probation. Another was on his first working flight back having been on a ground placement for a year.

The code ‘JR90’ was used to advise onboard managers a cabin crew member was relatively new. It helped with allocating onboard working positions and made them aware additional support may be needed.

When deciding who was most suitable to work up the Flight Manager usually asked the most experienced crew member. This was determined by length of service and/or overall flying experience.

Since joining the airline in 1990 it had always been a requirement for cabin crew working positions (areas of responsibility) to be allocated by the Flight Manager. The vast majority however including myself usually allowed the crew to choose where they wanted to work. It worked well and was widely accepted.

extract from procedures manual
From the Standard Operating Procedures Manual

Shortly before I returned from long term sick in March 2018 the company combined the Junior and Senior ranks. Cabin crew could now work in any of the three cabins. Up until then Juniors worked in Economy and Premium whilst Seniors worked in First Class.

Senior was a promotion and the role came with a small increase in salary.

The hierarchy on the aircraft was Junior, Senior, Purser, Flight Manager, First Officer, Captain. The combined Junior and Senior rank subsequently became known as Cabin Crew.

Although I was in favour of the change there were problems with the way it was implemented.

First Class was a nicer working environment so some crew began arriving at check-in much earlier than necessary to secure a position in that cabin.

Some Flight Managers were allocating working positions themselves but were doing so in seniority order. The most senior cabin crew would be given positions in First Class. Whilst that seems logical the problem was that many of the junior crew were not getting the experience they needed to work there.

Working in First Class was very different to Economy and the galley position required some level of expertise. The galley is the heart of the service and the way it’s run is reflected in the way services are delivered.

In the first few months after the ranks were combined I did a few flights where none of the crew had ever worked in First. Working with an entire team unfamiliar with the service and environment in which they were working made everything more challenging.

I decided from then on to start allocating working positions myself. A few Flight Managers did this already but not many. I felt this would ensure all crew had the opportunity to gain experience working in all three cabins.

Whilst trying to decide who would be most suitable to work up a rank on my flight to Atlanta, a crew line manager came to speak with me. She said one of her crew who had been with the airline for just over a year had flown previously. She said she’d been with another airline for about thirty years, twenty as a cabin manager. She said she wanted to mention it because it may help me out.

Despite not being the most senior crew member I thought her experience would make her the ideal person to work up. I now had to decide who I would ask to work up as the other Purser. Out of eleven cabin crew only three had been with the company for more than a year.

I had flown with one those three crew members several times previously but didn’t feel he was suitable to work in a supervisory role. I allocated him the working position of First Class galley.

I was initially going to ask Lottie to work up because she was the most experienced crew member. I then decided if I asked Katrina, Lottie could work an aisle position in First Class which would help maintain the pace of the service.

Had I asked Lottie to work up as Purser all three crew members serving in the aisles would have been relatively new. From experience I knew that may impact the speed of the service.

Although the First Class Purser is a hands-on position they tend to spend most of the time assisting in and around the galley.

We were one crew member down so I intended to work the position in the Premium cabin. That meant I wouldn’t be able to oversee or help out in First as much as I would normally. For that reason I wanted an experienced crew member who I could rely on serving in one of the aisles.

With the two most experienced crew both working in First Class that only left the person who had been on a ground placement for year to work up as Purser in Economy. He had been with the airline for several years but was on his first working flight back. I had received an email from him a few days earlier;

copy of an email
Email received prior to my Atlanta flight

As we had never met I decided to speak with him when he arrived and would take things from there.

In the meantime Katrina who had previously been a Flight Manager at another airline arrived. We spoke about her working up and she said she was happy to give it a go. I was confident she would do a great job and placed her in First Class. That way I was not too far away should she need help.

When crew member T arrived we spoke for some time. Having explained the situation and asked whether he would like to work up as Economy Purser he agreed and was enthusiastic.

He told me he had recently applied for promotion but had been turned down. I said working up would be good experience. He said two of the cabin crew on the flight were his friends so would give him plenty of support. They were Mia and Bart’s fiancée Anna.

The first time I applied for Flight Manager I was unsuccessful. On the day I received my rejection letter I was told I was required to work up in that rank on my next flight.

Having just been turned down for the role I wasn’t over keen. After speaking with my line manager she said it would be good experience and would look positive on my file. I always remembered that and put it into practice many times over the years.

It was my second time working up. During a busy meal service two cabin crew working in Economy started having an argument with each other.

After returning home I received the following letter from my manager;

correspondence from a manager to an employee
Complimentary letter from my manager after having worked up a rank.

On another occasion after being promoted to Flight Manager I checked in for a flight to find we were three crew members down. Two were Junior positions the other was a Purser.

Miami was a notoriously busy flight. After talking to the Purser who was present I decided to ask an experienced Junior with whom I’d flown many times whether she wanted to work up. In those days it was unheard of for a Junior crew member to work up as Purser.

Sheryl was confident, had heaps of experience and did an amazing job. Many years later she became a crew line manager.

I wrote a lengthy performance appraisal on her and subsequently received the following letter from my manager;

written letter from a manager to an employee
Letter received from my manager in 2002

By the time I started the pre-flight briefing for my Christmas Eve Atlanta with Bart I’d allocated all working positions and had spoken to T and Katrina about working up.

With the exception of Bruce who was working in the First Class galley I had not flown with anyone else before.

All of the crew except Bart had spoken to me prior to the pre-flight briefing to introduce themselves. With me not having left the working position sheet out for them to choose their own working position they wanted to know where they were working.

The first time I saw and spoke to Bart was after I introduced myself to everyone during the pre-flight briefing. What I didn’t know until some time later was that he had already taken a dislike to me.

As crazy as that may sound considering we hadn’t even spoken, the reason was because he hadn’t been given the opportunity to work up. He had only been flying for eleven months and had never flown previously.

Although Katrina had only been with the company for slightly longer than him she had many years of flying and onboard managerial experience.

The following is an extract from evidence I submitted as part of my defence. “Performance management” relates to the performance appraisal I wrote on Bart following our flight. PUR is Purser. JR90 indicates a crew member is new to the company.

From minutes taken during Bart’s meeting with the grievance investigation manager

The crew member with four years experience was Ven (whose leg I touched). He arrived at the aircraft whilst passengers were boarding so wasn’t in the pre-flight briefing.

I had literally been told as we were leaving the cabin crew check-in area that someone had been called from standby. By that time I had no desire to start changing working positions around.

I allocated him the position in the Premium cabin that I was going to work. I could see from his employee number he had been flying for a few years. I felt with him working in Premium he’d be well placed to help out in Economy and First Class if required. Premium is between the two cabins.

The person with eight years experience was Lottie. I wanted her to work an aisle position in First Class to maintain the pace of the service.

The crew member who had been flying for seven years was Bruce. I had allocated him the First Class galley because from flying with him previously I didn’t feel he was suitable to work up in a supervisory role.

If you’re thinking that was unfair of me take a look at the following photo;

Two Virgin Atlantic Upper Class Christmas dinners
Christmas dinner on its way to two customers

This picture was taken when crew member Mia (who accused me of touching her leg) approached me during the dinner service at the bar area in First Class. She was working in Economy but had come to the front after they finished their service to help out.

She wanted to show me the Christmas dinner. Her concern was portion size not presentation. The First Class food comes out the oven in a foil tray. It’s then plated up by the crew member working in the galley, that was Bruce.

These meals were on their way to two First Class customers.

I wanted to send a photo of the food to the catering department to draw their attention to the portion size. I then went to speak with Bruce about how food was being plated.

Bruce was one of two crew members who didn’t return their witness statement.

When I walked into the galley it was chaos. He was busy plating up food and told me one meal couldn’t be used because it had been overcooked.

piece of overcooked turkey and some dried up gravy

Virgin Atlantic Upper Class Christmas dinner
Christmas dinner being served on our flight from Atlanta

Mia seemed like a nice person. I had done a drinks service with her in Economy on our outbound flight to Atlanta. She had a lovely manner when serving customers and we spoke about that after the service.

With this being a Christmas trip she had brought a friend along lwith her. Both of them joined us on Christmas morning for breakfast in the hotel. They sat opposite me and were very chatty.

When Mia arrived at the front of the aircraft I asked her to help Bart on the right aisle because he was struggling to keep up with the service. She worked alongside him in the cabin until the dinner service was finished.

The following screenshot includes responses from her witness statement.

From Mia’s witness statement

Meet this chap who’s now a Flight Manager. He’s someone who takes pride in his work and presents food the way the company expects it to be presented. I think that’s a customer serviette on his head!

male crew member preparing food in the galley of an aircraft
Taken in October 2008

Dealing with the Grievance

The grievance filed against me by ex police officer Bart dragged on for a year. The effects of dealing with it had a catastrophic effect on my already fragile mental health.

I suffered with debilitating depression and anxiety and there were more days than I care to remember when I felt life was no longer worth living.

My new line manager and cabin crew manager Hayley who was dealing with the disciplinary were fully aware of my situation. I had spoken to them both several times.

Having struggled with overwhelming depression following the initial grievance investigation meeting carried out by crew line manager Lana, I was off work for several weeks. During that time I spoke with Hayley about the next stage of the process which was the disciplinary meeting.

The following screenshot comes from a WhatsApp conversation between me and Hayley;


Just a week after I returned home from my flight with Bart my dad who was 96 passed away. Instead of being able to grieve and reflect on the last nine years of my life I spent the next twelve months fighting a malicious grievance.

Employee performance appraisals are usually written and delivered during the flight. For reasons I’ll explain in due course I wrote Bart’s after we landed home.

Although I’ll talk in depth about the grievance investigation and subsequent disciplinary meeting, for now I want to share with you the letter I received from crew line manager Hayley advising me of the outcome.

It was attached to an email that she sent me on the afternoon of Friday 27th September 2019.

The thick black line covers the letterhead of the paper which is the company’s name. A considerable amount of text in the letter was printed over the letterhead which made it unreadable.


True professionalism from this relatively new cabin crew manager. That’s a line manager for the cabin crew. She had been with the airline for less than two years and in her current role for fifteen months.

I was subsequently told verbally and in writing by the Head of Cabin Crew who dealt with my appeal, “Hayley is a very experienced manager”. She repeated this statement several times. As I will prove, cabin crew manager Hayley was anything but experienced.

I later found out this was the first disciplinary hearing she had conducted since joining the airline.

Ironically in the first screenshot she says “If you’re a senior employee or a manager we’ll look to you to lead by example”.

Having been told I would have a final written warning placed on my file for bullying, harassment, overbearing supervision and inappropriate touching I submitted an appeal on the 1st October 2019. It went to the Head of Cabin Crew.

During our meeting three weeks later I told her I had been suffering with debilitating anxiety and depression as a result of having to deal with this malicious grievance for the past eight months.

I asked whether she knew how many men of my age commit suicide each year because of mental health issues. She confirmed she did. Although detailed minutes were taken from the start of the meeting this comment was omitted. I was accompanied to the meeting by a union rep’.

Despite being fully aware of my situation, just two weeks earlier the Head of Cabin Crew instructed a second grievance investigation to begin against me. It was in regards to a different matter that had taken place.

On the company’s online communication platform known as Workplace (a similar platform to Facebook) I had written a post that ended with a tongue-in-cheek comment. Several emojis that followed the comment reiterated the nature in which it was said.

There were forty three people in this private group which had been set up for onboard managers who were operating the newly launched route to Tel Aviv. Other members included the manager of the Service and Delivery department, one of his team and someone responsible for onboard catering.

The company’s Chief People Officer and the CEO had also joined the group. Apart from them I knew everyone else pretty well and everyone knew me.

We had all been with airline for many years. A training day in preparation for the Tel Aviv route had recently taken place which gave us an opportunity to catch up.

Several days later I received a message through Workplace from the CEO. He had taken over less than a year earlier and it was the first time we had spoken. He said “I presume this was not intentional but please remove the last paragraph speaking about Jews, I find it completely inappropriate”.

A few messages were then exchanged between us which I’ll share in due course.

It’s important to mention that I’m Jewish. My comment which I’ll talk about in a later chapter was tongue-in-cheek but had been completely misunderstood. Like me the CEO is also Jewish.

Shortly after posting the comment I had second thoughts and deleted it, or at least thought I had. I accessed Workplace on my iPhone but for some reason the comment didn’t delete.

The following screenshot is one of the messages exchanged with the CEO;

copy of a text message

Having apologised several times for my comment and explained it was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, I never heard anything more from him.

Seventeen days later less than twenty four hours before the official Tel Aviv press flight which I was rostered to work on, I received a call from crew line manager Fred. He told me I was being taken off the flight the following day and the Head of Cabin Crew had asked for a grievance investigation be initiated into my comment. She asked for it to be dealt with as a final written warning.

At this time she already knew she was meeting with me to hear my disciplinary appeal a couple of weeks later. She also knew the full extent of my struggles with mental health both before and as a result of having to deal with the grievance raised by Bart. That too was being dealt with as a final written warning.

I think it’s clear to see there was something more sinister going on here. If both grievances were upheld I would lose my job.

The CEO was due to travel on the press flight to Tel Aviv with many other VIP’s. I believe having looked at the list of operating cabin crew the day before, he saw my name and then decided to report my comment. He did that because he knew it would lead to me being taken off the flight.

Not only had I operated the very first flight to Tel Aviv which had gone some weeks earlier, but since apologising to him for my tongue-in-cheek comment I had operated another two flights to/from Tel Aviv. If he wanted to report me I’m fairly certain he would have done it straight away.

He did it seventeen days later because I believe he didn’t want to come face to face with me the following day. I think he was embarrassed having out that like him, I was also Jewish. I don’t think he expected that when he read my comment.

Pre flight safety briefing for the first Tel Aviv flight.

The investigative grievance meeting for my comment made on Workplace was held on 29th October 2019 at 9.30am. My appeal meeting with the Head of Cabin Crew for the grievance raised against me by Bart was 2pm the same day.

Having returned to work less than a year earlier after being off for almost two years with depression and anxiety, I was now dealing with two disciplinary matters both of which were being dealt with as final written warnings.

copy of a policy

At the start of the appeal meeting the Head of Cabin Crew told me she would try to come to a decision as quickly as possible. I received the outcome to her investigation two months later.

It was received by email on Friday 20th December 2019.

My appeal had been unsuccessful. The final written warning for bullying, harassment, overbearing supervision and inappropriate touching was to be placed on my file.

She had dismissed two further complaints and confirmed she could find no evidence of collusion.

In March 2020 the company announced they would be making redundancies in response to Covid. Not long afterwards I was told I was being made redundant.

Despite having taken two months to carry out her investigation, the Head of Cabin Crew had done nothing more than look through the case or that’s what she claimed.

I had proven repeatedly that allegations made by Bart were lies. I also exposed lies told by those with whom he colluded. The most obvious thing for her to do would have been to question him further. She could also have spoken to the three crew members who worked alongside us in First Class. Their statements were honest and told a very different story to Bart’s.

She spoke to nobody.

The two crew line managers who dealt with the case could also have questioned the crew about what they had written in their witness statements. They didn’t speak to anyone either.

Part of my evidence included a WhatsApp conversation that I’d had with a Flight Manager friend following the flight. With it being on my ‘phone I suddenly realised I had forgotten to include it with my appeal.

I sent the Head of Cabin Crew the following email;

Email correspondence with Head of Cabin Crew

Despite making reference to the WhatsApp conversation multiple times in my appeal, she had not asked to see it. It had been sent to crew line manager Hayley via her work WhatsApp account with some other photos but she had not added a hard copy to the case notes.

I had also included a photo of the hotel corridor to prove Bart and his fiancée were lying about something else they accused me of. The Head of Cabin Crew had not asked to see that either.

The days that followed were extremely dark. I was in a dangerous state of depression and suicidal thoughts were at the forefront of my mind.

The day after receiving the outcome of the appeal I called my manager to say I wouldn’t be doing my next duty on 24th December. He said he would advise the ‘Christmas trip committee’ who would decide how the absence should be recorded. He said he would get back to me shortly.

By late afternoon on the 23rd of December I hadn’t heard from him and wanted to make sure I had been taken off my flight the next morning. Having worked for this airline for almost thirty years I knew there was a good chance I would receive a call the following day to ask where I was when I didn’t turn up at check in.

Having called the department who crew flights they told me they had not been advised to take me off the flight. According to their records I was still showing as the operating Flight Manager.

Stupidity Ignorance or Both?

Christmas 2019 was a really difficult time. It was twelve months since my flight to Atlanta with Bart and despite proving the allegations against me were lies it had made no difference.

The first anniversary of my dad’s death was also approaching. Although 96 when he died which is a great age, the previous nine years had been very tough.

After suddenly losing my mum in 2010 my dad moved in with me and life changed overnight. Living together wasn’t easy. Apart from my partner, my dad was my only family.

Being his carer had a huge impact on my mental health. After four years it became too much and I experienced what I suppose is called a mental breakdown. I was off work for eighteen months.

I kept what I was going through from my dad which wasn’t easy. By 2018 he was finding it difficult to manage the stairs and the level of care he needed meant he had to go into residential care. It was a very difficult decision to make.

I never thought I’d be well enough to go back flying. Stepping back onto an aircraft was incredibly difficult but an amazing feeling. The once confident and fun loving Laurence however was now a distant memory.

Very slowly over the next ten months I rebuilt my confidence and began to relax back into the job I had always loved. The past ten years had taken its toll but finally there was light at the end of the tunnel.

father and son in a restaurant father is eating cheesecake
Taken in 2016

Fighting to clear my name from Bart’s fictitious grievance decimated my mental health. During the nine months it was being dealt with I had three lengthy periods off work whilst struggling with depression.

Having called in sick once again after my appeal was dismissed by the Head of Cabin Crew I knew my time in the company was coming to an end.

With everything else I was dealing with I had kind of forgotten about the second grievance matter. That changed when I received an email on 11th January 2020 from my new line manager.

During my appeal meeting the Head of Cabin Crew told me she had chosen him carefully because she wanted someone who could give me all the support I needed. Bear in mind she had just requested a second grievance investigation be started for something that any reasonable person would have dealt with in a more compassionate manner.

Email from my manager. LHR refers to cabin crew check-in at Heathrow Airport

When I spoke to my line manager he asked when I thought I’d be able to return to work. I was very honest with him and said I really wasn’t in a great place at the moment. I didn’t feel it was necessary to tell him I just wanted to bring my life to an end.

Later in the conversation he asked when I would be able to attend the disciplinary meeting regarding my tongue-in-cheek comment on Workplace. I couldn’t believe what he had just said and told him I was currently in no position to be thinking about another grievance. He said the matter wasn’t going to go away and whilst he could push the meeting back it would still have to be dealt with.

Taken from an interview regarding mental health with the airline’s Chief People Officer

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that conversation and what I went through in the days that followed. That was the last time I ever spoke with my manager.

In every email I received from him in the months that followed he said the same thing, “I want to offer you support.” They were meaningless words that looked good on paper.

Here’s the series of emails from the manager who was dealing with the second part of the grievance regarding my post on Workplace. At the time of receiving this email I hadn’t yet received the outcome of my appeal from the first grievance being dealt with by the Head of Cabin Crew.

The day after receiving her email on 20th December 2019 I called in sick for the last time. I never returned to work before being made redundant.

This email was sent before I called in sick on 15th December 2019.

By this time I had been off sick for four weeks.

This email was received three days after the conversation with my line manager (Manager Performance and Development) in which he asked when I would be able to deal with this matter. Even though I was off sick the company were determined for me to participate in a second grievance meeting. If the grievance was upheld I could be dismissed. This was before Covid.

Unknown to me at this time the Head of Cabin Crew was the driving force behind both investigations. As I later discovered she should never have become involved in the second matter. She was already dealing with my “appeal” from the original grievance raised by Bart so there was “conflict of interests”. She should therefore have passed the complaint raised by the CEO to someone else to deal with.

I subsequently received several emails pressuring me into attending the grievance meeting.

I was off sick so of course I wouldn’t be attending! Needless to say I didn’t respond

It was mid February before I felt able to arrange a date for the meeting. I was still off sick. It was just prior to the outbreak of Covid.

Email correspondence regarding the second grievance matter

I was about to participate in a grievance hearing whilst off work struggling with anxiety and depression

Despite her apparent concern for my wellbeing this was a complete and utter farce. There was never going to be a good time to deal with a second grievance but I needed to get it sorted so I could try to move on.

My manager had arranged a telephone appointment with Occupational Health to ensure I was “fit enough” to participate. The company were going to extraordinary lengths to ensure this matter was dealt with as a grievance.

To put this into context, this was over a comment I made that was completely misunderstood. It was not said with malice and having learnt it had caused offence apologised immediately.

Following two long and difficult conversations with Occupational Health they agreed the only way for me to move on was for this matter to be dealt with and closed.

On 4th March 2020 I received a call about my rostered flight to Tel Aviv the following day. Despite saying I was off sick and had been since December, three weeks later the company seemed to be none the wiser.

Surely someone must have realised I was off sick considering I hadn’t turned up for any of my flights in January and February! When a cabin crew member is on long term sick their roster is swiped meaning they’re not allocated any flights and any existing duties are removed from the roster.

March 2020 my work roster showing a flight to Tel Aviv. I was still on long term sick

LTS = long term sick

On the 8th April I received a call from someone I didn’t know and had never spoken to before. He asked whether I would be operating my flight the following day.

Struggling to comprehend what I’d just been asked I told him I was off sick. After a long pause he said yes I can see that but thought you may be returning to work because we don’t have a sick note from you.

My manager had not asked for one and and to be honest it was the last thing on my mind. I said I’d get one and would forward it by email.

Three weeks later I received the following and replied a couple of days later. I didn’t hear another word from this person or anyone else in the company until the 2nd July. In that email I was invited to participate in a meeting to appeal the decision to make me redundant.

Having already been through four awful meetings in relation to two disciplinaries, as much as I loved my job and didn’t want to be made redundant I couldn’t fight any more.

I never received confirmation whether the sick note had been received

%d bloggers like this: